


Lead into Gold

by Emeka



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Past Abuse, Second Chances, Snowflake Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 02:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17438252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeka/pseuds/Emeka





	Lead into Gold

She knew the woman as she passed.

She stopped in the middle of that cobbled road and turned her head. She saw her walking away, and the girl she knew is visible even in her back. The lonely way she carries herself, and her softly swaying bobbed hair.

For a moment she felt like a cornered rabbit. Fear and uncertainty rooted her to the spot. But what could she do?

She ran. This time, she thinks, this time everything will be alright.

The woman stares at her coolly as she looks at her, continuing to walk. I don’t care, the woman's face says. But the girl she knew is there, pleading in her eyes to follow. 

She walks beside her, boot heels clicking out of rhythm like they used to. She’s dreamed of this moment ever since she stopped being a child, but… what now? The apology she has prepared all this time, that has always seemed inadequate, now seems offensive. 

"I’ve changed," the woman says suddenly, eyes still straight ahead. "Have you?"

Then the tears are in her eyes. She shouldn’t cry, because she has no right to, but in one way or the other she’s always been the emotional one. The quickest to cry, to irritate, to anger, and maybe that won’t ever change. But she doesn’t handle her emotions like she used to.

"God, I hope so," she nearly sobs. Because the truth is that no matter how much better she gets, she still feels the same urges she used to. It makes her so scared of herself. All it will take is one backslide. I hope so, is all she can say, because some days she’s not sure herself. When she knows what she’s like on the inside, is she really a better person if she can manage to act nice?

Is just trying enough?

She brusquely rubs her eyes before she gets too embarrassing. They keep walking, maybe somewhere, or just to walk. Maybe the woman's house is nearby and she doesn’t want to lead her to it. Can’t blame her for that. 

"I missed you," the girl she used to know says eventually. "I still do. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done."

"You were right to leave," she says hesitantly. It feels like sucking up, even though it’s honestly how she feels now. "I was such a… such a bitch."

They come to an intersection. The woman looks at her, and in the streetlights she sees how much older she’s grown since their high school years. "I don’t know if I can say I’ve forgiven you. But maybe," and her expression softens just slightly, looking more like the girl, and all those nights together that could be good even when everything else was in shambles, "you have changed. And maybe I want to see for myself."

The woman walks on without her, leaving her alone, but not without hope. 

They’ll meet again. And she’ll show her she’s not the same.


End file.
